After extensive networking and research, I have discovered Nancy Pelosi's secret that she says will deny Newt Gingrich the White House.

Click on the image to the right.

What is so special about April 29, 2009? It’s the last time Congress passed a budget. 1000 days later, we are operating without any plan.

• The last time the Senate passed a budget was on April 29, 2009.
• Since that date, the federal government has spent $9.4 trillion, adding $4.1 trillion in debt.
• As of January 20, the outstanding public debt stands at $15,240,174,635,409.
• Interest payments on the debt are now more than $200 billion per year.
• President Obama proposed a FY2012 budget last year, and the Senate voted it down 97–0. (And that budget was no prize—according to the Congressional Budget Office, that proposal never had an annual deficit of less than $748 billion, would double the national debt in 10 years and would see annual interest payments approach $1 trillion per year.)
• The Senate rejected House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan’s (R–WI) budget by 57–40 in May 2011, with no Democrats voting for it.
• In FY2011, Washington spent $3.6 trillion. Compare that to the last time the budget was balanced in 2001, when Washington spent $1.8 trillion ($2.1 trillion when you adjust for inflation).
• Entitlement spending will more than double by 2050. That includes spending on Medicare, Medicaid and the Obamacare subsidy program, and Social Security. Total spending on federal health care programs will triple.
• By 2050, the national debt is set to hit 344 percent of Gross Domestic Product.
• Taxes paid per household have risen dramatically, hitting $18,400 in 2010 (compared with $11,295 in 1965). If the 2001 and 2003 tax cuts expire and more middle-class Americans are required to pay the alternative minimum tax (AMT), taxes will reach unprecedented levels.
• Federal spending per household is skyrocketing. Since 1965, spending per household has grown by nearly 162 percent, from $11,431 in 1965 to $29,401 in 2010. From 2010 to 2021, it is projected to rise to $35,773, a 22 percent increase.

While some might say it is under-powered, my personal favorite daily carry is a Beretta Jetfire 25.

A while back. a buddy and I were fishing on Alaska's Raspberry Island near Kodiak, and out of nowhere came this very angry and large brown bear. Apparently we were threatening her cubs.

Anyway, if I had not had my little Jetfire I'd sure not be here today. Just one shot to my buddy's knee cap and I was able to escape by just briskly walking away.

It's not always the size that matters.

• Convict sues couple he kidnapped for not helping him evade polic
• Man illegally brings gun into bar, gets injured in a fight, then sues bar for not searching him for a weapon
• Young adults sue mother for sending cards without gifts and playing favorites
• Woman disagrees with store over 80¢ refund, sues for $5 million
• Mom files suit against exclusive preschool over child’s college prospects
• Man suing for age discrimination says judge in his case is too old
• Obese man sues burger joint over tight squeeze in booths
• Woman sues over movie trailer; says not enough driving in ‘Drive’
• Passenger’s lawsuit says cruise ship went too fast and swayed from side to side
• Mother sues Chuck E. Cheese – says games encourage gambling in children

Cheetah, Tarzan's chimpanzee sidekick, died of kidney failure at the Suncoast Primate Sanctuary in Palm Harbor, Florida at 80 years old.

Cheetah first appeared on film in 1932 with Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan, Tarzan and Jane.

Mia Farrow, O'Sullivan's daughter, twittered that her mom referred to Cheetah as "that bastard" saying he bit her at every opportunity.

Debbie Cobb, Suncoast's Outreach Director, said that Cheetah moved to the sanctuary around 1960. "He was vey compassionate. He could tell if I was having a good day or a bad day. He was always trying to get me to laugh if he thought I was having a bad day. He was very in tune to human feelings. His interests included finger-painting, watching football and listening to nondenominational Christian music."

One of the last know photos of North Korea's Kim Jong II shows him examining toilet paper at the Kwangbok street shopping center. According to insiders, his visit indicated the profits from the supermarket were to go straight into Kim's private coffers.

Interesting that Kim Jong would be photographed with toilet paper considering North Korean school children are taught that he never had the need to go to the bathroom.

Good friend and kindred spirit, Don Wells, has just released the Mystery of the Trees, the culmination of over six years of writing and research into the Indian trail tree phenomenon.

The Indian trail trees are sacred to the Native Americans and their preservation is very importance. Although many of these trees can live to be 300 to 600 years old, some are near the end of their lives. Others, unfortunately, have been destroyed by urban development or vandals. The meanings of these trees are not completely known. They may never be known since those who know are all but gone. Some of these trees are found marking old Indian Trails. Others point to water, shelter, stream crossings and more. The techniques for bending a tree into a particular shape have, for the most part, been lost. However, these “living artifacts” are a testimony to the skills and knowledge of the Indian people in their being one with nature.

Mystery of the Trees (Full color, 8.5 x 5.5 x ¾ inch, 218 pages, printed on recylced paper, and spirally bound for field use. ISBN 978-1-4507-8174-9) is available at the Mountain Stewards website bookstore for only $23.95 + shipping.

Only a year is left before Dec. 21, 2012, when some believe the Maya predicted the end of the world.
While some doomsday theorists may suggest putting together survival kits, people in southeastern Mexico, the heart of Maya territory, plan to throw a yearlong celebration. And to make a profit while they party.
Mexico's tourism agency expects to draw 52 million visitors over the coming year just to the five states richest in Maya heritage. Mexico as a whole is expected to lure just 22 million foreigners this year.
Cities and towns in the Mayan region are starting the yearlong countdown on the 21st. The city of Tapachula on the Guatemalan border will start an 8-foot (2.5-meter) digital clock in its main park to begin the countdown exactly a year before the date. In the nearby archaeological site of Izapa, Maya priests will burn incense, chant and offer prayers.
On Mexico's Caribbean coast, between the resorts of Cancun and Playa del Carmen, people are putting messages and photos in a time capsule that will be buried for 50 years. Maya priests and Indian dancers will perform a ritual at the time capsule ceremony.

Never let a vow of silence get in the way of getting down for the holiday.

Thanks to Carolyn Sewell.

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve. Working her way through the crowd, the wife was surprised when she noticed that her husband was nowhere around. She was very upset because they had a lot of shopping to do.

So she used her cell phone to call her husband to ask him where he was.

Her husband in a calm voice, said, "Honey, remember the jewelry store we went into 5 years ago, where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford? And I told you that I would get it for you one day?"

His wife, crying, said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

He said, "Well, I'm in the bar next to it."

In 1962, it was the single most expensive item I had ever considered buying. But having heard Peter, Paul and Mary's first album, I had to have a guitar. Tommy Covington's Music Shoppe in downtown Maryville, Tennessee had the guitar I could afford - a sunburst, flat-top, grand concert Stella.

I plucked around on that guitar endless hours (much to the suffering of my family). But over the months and years that followed, and with help from other self-taught pickers, I came to hold my own with enough basic chord sets to mimic PP&M, Guthrie, Seeger, AP Carter, Williams, Ian Tyson, Lightfoot, Dylan and the rest.

A few years later, that old flat-top Stella begot a Gibson which begot a Yahama which begot a Martin, and on and on and on.

Attribute it to the time of the year or just the nostalgic yearnings of an ol'fart, but, I've been thinking about that ol' Stella for a while now. eBay to the rescue. It only took a few weeks of searching to find a suitable guitar to satisfy the jonsin'.

It's good to have a Stella again. With it's deplorable action, incessant need to be retuned, cheap gaudy looks and battleship toughness, it's just like the original. How did any of us every learn to play or have the fortitude to stick out the pain of playing those ol' Harmonys!

Welcome home Stella!

Gloriously inspired recipes push the boundaries of live-fired cuisine in this primal yet sophisticated cookbook introducing the incendiary dishes of South America's biggest culinary star. Chef Francis Mallmann—born in Patagonia and trained in France's top restaurants—abandoned the fussy fine dining scene for the more elemental experience of cooking with fire. But his fans followed, including the world's top food journalists and celebrities, such as Francis Ford Coppola, Madonna, and Ralph Lauren, traveling to Argentina and Uruguay to experience the dashing chef's astonishing—and delicious—wood-fired feats.

The seven fires of the title refer to a series of grilling techniques that have been singularly adapted for the home cook. So you can cook Signature Mallmann dishes—like Whole Boneless Ribeye with Chimichuri; Salt-Crusted Striped Bass; Whole Roasted Andean Pumpkin with Mint and Goat Cheese Salad; and desserts such as Dulce de Leche Pancakes—indoors or out in any season. Evocative photographs showcase both the recipes and the exquisite beauty of Mallmann's home turf in Patagonia, Buenos Aires, and rural Uruguay. Seven Fires is a must for any griller ready to explore food's next frontier.

With an afternoon high in the mid 60s and bluebird skies, it was a perfect afternoon to retrieve some stranded canoes and kayaks from Carters Lake.

Chris and Debbie relaxing after the successful boat rescue.

Caddis II in tow across Carters Lake.

A trailer-load of plastic canoes and kayaks heading back to the Cartecay.

No matter what's going on in our little worlds, we have so much for which to be thankful.

Saturday it was over to Walnut Mountain for some mountain pond, bream fishing with long-time buddy Debbie Harrelson. Debbie and I have began our fishing relationship on this pond over twenty years ago (Debbie was only 12 years old).
This pond is one of my favorite fishing destinations and holds many fond memories.

For anyone interested in trying fly fishing or introducing a friend to fly fishing, I heartily recommend a spring or fall afternoon on a mountain pond (or a farm pond for that matter), a float tube, 4 or 5 weight rod, and a box of popping bugs. Can't beat it!

In Gilmer County, Georgia, as in most rural counties, the Clerk of the Probate Court administers all manner of permits, marriage licenses, death certificates, etc.

Last week I found myself at the conceal/carry window of the Probate Court office. After some fumbling, the clerk allowed that her unfamiliarity with the forms was due to her having only been on the job for two days.

I asked if she was enjoying the job. She replied that she was, and followed with," But Lordy, I never knew there are so many people who want to get married and shoot each other!"

Honghu, China: Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his manhood. The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures.

Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin. But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realized a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder.

“I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body. But then suddenly I felt a severe pain and realized a small eel had gone into the end of my penis” the 56-year-old from Honghu, Hubei province said.

“I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis.”

Rushing himself to hospital, the man underwent a three-hour operation to remove the six-inch eel which was dead by the time doctors found it.

Scott McBride and I hit the Toccoa tailwater shortly after the morning release ended. It was a great way to spend the afternoon - would have been better if the fish had been more cooperative. Largemouth, chub and one rainbow.

A slow Sunday on the Toccoa.

Above Scott McBride shows off his chub catch of the day; while at right, a decent if not solitary rainbow that took my swinging soft hackle.

For the multitude of followers who've been asking, "What's Justin doin'?" check out his latest blog post.

While you're at it, click on overto the Patagonia Unlimited website; and, in the words of my partner in crime, "Just book a %^#&:^* trip!"
Life's short - do something nice for yourself.

Also, take a look at our 2011-12 Patagonia destination/rate book. Click on the image below to download the pdf.

Debbie Harrelson found this beauty in her back yard - 6 INCHES LONG and over an INCH IN DIAMETER. It goes by several different names, but generally the caterpillar is called a Hickory Horned Devil and the moth goes by Royal Walnut Moth or Regal Moth.
Technically, it's a Citheronia regalis. A beautiful creature by any name!

The annual International Flyfishing Tackle Dealers (IFTD) trade show has wrapped up in New Orleans. I didn't participate in this year's show and have mixed feelings about that. While I certainly don't miss the adventure (9/13/2010 entry) that Justin Witt and I had leaving Denver's show last year, I do miss not having seen old freinds and making new ones.

I also miss seeing the Drake's film festival. But fortunately, many of the entries, or at least their trailers, are finding their ways to the internet.
Such is the case with the attached two that Moldy Chum published this morning. Aside from the clips themselves, I found the two videos interesting in their juxtaposition - new school vs. old school.

MOTIV Fishing - GEOFISH Drake Fest Submission from MOTIV FISHING on Vimeo.

It may not be carved in stone, but it is inked into my flesh. For you tech-savy smart phone users - get a sneak preview of the 2011-2012 Patagonia Unlimited Rate Book.
For you low-tech types you can click on the image below.

FOR SALE
1999 Shawnee River Boat, Trailer and Cover
This is a special order river boat hand-built by Gay Rorie, the builder of the traditional river boats used on the White and Norfork rivers by guides, outfitters and the DNR.
This boat is in excellent condition, always covered and well maintained.

Take a look a the video, pass it along, and let me know if you are interested.

Folks around Alexandria, Minnesota are abuzz about the mutant roadkill on their local highway. With five long claws, a crown of fur on its otherwise hairless skin, the Minnesota DNR was unable to make a definitive identification and will conduct further testing.
Seveal locals have reported missing guinea hens and cats.
Chupacabra anyone?

Fly fishing buddy and fellow OFWLC brother, John Simank, spent an early morning on Arkansas's Lake Norfork.
Not bad for a fly fisherman trolling jigs on a spinning rod. Fire up the Big Green Egg.
With daytime temperatures above 100 all week, the Ozarks are HOT!

A couple were left shocked when they discovered the rotting body of a sea monster while walking along a beach. Margaret and Nick Flippence made the incredible find as they exercised their dogs at Bridge of Don,  Aberdeen.
Mr Flippence, 59, who lives nearby, said: 'We were stunned. I thought, "oh my God what is it?"
A spokesman for the Natural History Museum said: 'We have spoken to one of our mammals curators, and they have confirmed the animal is probably a long-finned pilot whale – Globicephala melas.
'Apparently it’s not unusual for these to wash up on the shore.'
Rob Deville, a marine life expert at London Zoo, said the body could be that of a killer whale or a smaller pilot whale.
Whale expert Mark Simmonds told the Sun: 'it died a long time ago and tides caused the body to wash ashore.'

So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you - what do you do?

This modest proposal gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 4 politicians - not necessarily dead, your call.
Of course, this means you will be ajudicated and sent to prison. Prison - where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, central air and heat and all of the healthcare you need! New hips, knees, kidneys, lungs, heart? All covered. And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now.

And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that it cannot afford for you to go into a home.
Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay income taxes anymore!

Is this a great country or what? Happy Independence Day!

Off today for Maryville, Tennesee and my Maryville High School Class of 1966's 45th reunion!
I've missed the last couple of decades-worth of reunions so I'm looking forward to catching up with all of the ol'farts.

Photos to follow.

Another nice catch from the Colorado Kid, Zach Otte. This carp was taken from Eleven Mile Lake just west of Colorado Springs.

Looks like a purple wooly bugger hanging out of this big boy's mouth - the carp's, not Zach's.

A salute to Ed Richmond and John Simank, a couple of my fishing buddies who have received due recognition from their home waters on the White and Norfork rivers.

High praise from Jimmy T and John Berry.

Gray’s Sporting Journal today announced that its new angling columnist will be Miles Nolte, filling the column slot held by editor James R. Babb for 16 years. Nolte was born and raised on O’ahu and caught his first fish at age four in the Yellowstone area. Since then, he’s been a fishing guide in Montana and Alaska, and a school teacher in Botswana (where he managed an occasional tigerfish on the fly). Most recently, he wrote an account of his adventures guiding on Alaska’s Alagnak River. The Alaska Chronicles (Departure Publishing, 2009) is based on material drawn from Nolte’s live blog on The Drake’s website and is one of the freshest, edgiest, funniest, and most thoroughly addictive works of fly-fishing literature to be published in recent memory.
Jim Babb, who will continue as Gray’s editor, writes that “when I decided to retire as angling columnist, I expected choosing the right voice from among the hundred-plus sample columns from sixty-plus eminent fishing authors would be difficult, but as I read and re-read the submissions, one writer rose clearly from the pack-for his knowledge, for his self-deprecating humor, his insights, his elegant, unlabored, and unselfconscious turns of phrase. Miles Nolte is a fishing writer I could spend the next twenty years reading. He’s also one I hope to spend the next twenty years editing.”

After an afternoon of thunderstorms and tornado-like winds playing havoc with our corner of the mountains resulting in a Sunday morning abuzz with chainsaws, nerves were a little frayed. Our little Daisy and a neighbor-dog had a bit of a tussle - a lot of snarling, biting and yelping, but everyone is fine. We've now put away the chainsaw (not to imply the mess is by any means cleaned up) had a nice lunch and waiting for the next round of storms.

At right Aaron Teffeteller and his dad somewhere in the southwest from about 15 summers ago.

Happy Fathers Day!

After days in Quetico of battling the Northern Pike for smallmouth and barely avoiding an auricle amputation by one of the 3' slimmy bastards, I returned home to discover that Patagonia fishing buddy and all around good guy, Zach Otte, has entered a recently fly-rod-caught Colorado pike in Moldy Chum's Slab of the Month Contest.

Clickity over there and cast your vote for Zach!

Back from the land of the loon, bald eagle, endless lakes and smallmouth bass.

With near perfect weather and fishing conditions, John Simank, Ed Richmond and the Ol'Fart landed several 5+ pound smallmouths. Ed took the largest on a popping bug and fly rod. John and I took ours on good ol' plastic lizards.
Joe Wilson, we missed you!

Sunshine, bream, and spotted bass on Carters Lake with long-time fishing buddy Debbie Harrelson.

Thursday I'm off for a week of canoeing, fishing and gluttony in Canada's Boundary Waters Quetico Provincial Park.

When I was 11-years old I was not only mesmirized by the incessant chirping of the Great Southern Brood of cicadas, but fascinated by the thousands of exoskeletons that covered the tree trunks around our woodland home.

This being only their fourth emergence since that summer - I find that I'm still intrigued - especially after learning why this cicada only emerges every 13 years in the south and 17 years in the midwest.

Well, it's all about prime numbers.

Both 13 and 17 are prime - not being evenly divisible by any smaller numbers, but you remembered that. Since their potential predators have 2-5 year life cycles, these cicadas have evolved life cycles that do not coincide. Consider a predator life cycle of 5 years, that means its life cycle will only coincide with this cicada's every 85 years!

Maybe Family Radio's kooky Harold Camping should take some math lessons from these crusty little guys!

While the White House has decided not to release the photos of the dead Osama bin Laden, it was inevitable that the photos would be leaked.

Here is the first. Now all of the doubters can STFU and get back to work.

I usually treat email jokes as spam, but this one...

A beautiful blond young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man.
"I'm a sailor, and we're off to Europe tomorrow, and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small, but  comfortable, compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings food and I get a free trip to Europe."
"I see," the captain said.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

Crawford's Crossing, the Turniptown Road, Ellijay residence of Kelly and Scott McBride is for sale.
This is truly a one-of-a-kind property and the site of many memorable experiences. And it can be yours.

Click here to see the MLS listing. Once there, click on the photo to view the other images.

Justin Lawrence Elliott, age 21, fought his way for several years with an incurable cranial tumor. His fortitude in life was exemplary. He was attending the University of Georgia as a Junior Classman in the honors student program. He graduated from Gilmer High School, class of 2008, while attending classes at the State University of West Georgia under the Advanced Academy Program, and also attending the University of New York.
He is preceded in death by his father, Rodney Arthur Elliott; and grandparents, Frances and Gerald Wright and Eugene and Vera Elliott. Justin is survived by his mother and father, Ellen and Ed Grant, of Ellijay; step-brother, Ed Grant, Jr., of Dallas; grandmother, Margaret Margie Carr Grant, of Ellijay; aunts and uncles, Andrea and Dan Harris, of Alpharetta, Hal and Brenda Wright, of San Jose, Costa Rica, Kathy Wright, of Athens, Linda Elliott Abbott, of Ocala, Fl, Barri Gehrand, of Marietta, and Nancy and David Grant, of Kennesaw, as well as many well-loved cousins.
A celebration service will be held 2 p.m. Saturday, April 23, at the First United Methodist Church, with pastors Dr. Danny Barton, Rev. Sharon Watkins, Min. Butch Jones, and Dr. David Griffin officiating. Justin was greatly loved by family and many friends. He was brave, courageous, and determined to live.
A visitation will be held from 3-8 p.m. Friday, April 22, at the Heritage House, 273 Rose Petal Ln., Ellijay, GA 30540 (junction of Old 5 North and 515, across the bridge).
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center at Duke, DUMC Box 3624, Durham, NC 27710, or the First United Youth, 75 McCutchen St., Ellijay, GA 30540, or the Justin Elliott Foundation, P.O. Box 1961, Ellijay, GA 30540. Logan Funeral Home & Chapel, Ellijay, has charge of arrangements.

Now that the Patagonia Unlimited fishing season is winding down, Justin Witt has had a few days to pick up a rod and throw some flies.
This nice brown trout was taken from one of the several lakes that we fish throughout the season.

Check out Justin's blog for this story and many more.

Photographer and fisherman, Kenny Simmons, composed this video of his trip with us (Patagonia Unlimited) to Argentina, We're now taking reservations for the 2011-2012 season. Contact me for more information.